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I am Mixed

  • Published May 27, 2014

IMG_0708I am Mixed. What does that mean? I do not know, because I have not fully explored my Mixed identity, during the last 30 years. Furthermore, until recently, I did not have a community/place to share my story and compare notes.

Please don’t misconstrue, I do experience otherness on a daily basis, but I function on autopilot as I engage with the different circles I operate in. It is always with strained tension between who I am, which has been fuzzy, and who I think people assume I am.

What do I say to people when they ask me “what are you?” (add your own version of this question). I reply, Irish (with emphasis), Portuguese (with emphasis), Native American (with emphasis), and African-American or African or Black (with apology). It hurts me to write this because of the painful experience of not belonging; an outlier like Pluto (after finding out it is not a planet).

As a male, I accepted my status with passive frustration, but hey, I thought to myself, that was my lot in life. Moreover, I had no desire for kids and I have no kids. Furthermore, I had the good fortune of only seriously dating people that did not want kids. Hence, I had no pressure of worrying about how my mixedness and their mixedness would impact our lives.

I mention this because most of the leaders in the Mixed movement are women, which I believe stems from their historical role as the primary caregiver for kids. Consequently, they’re more likely to be immersed in understanding and defining the terms of Mixedness to better help their offspring.

I’m Mixed, but now it is beginning to have meaning, because I’m immersed in the Mixed experience. I’m now writing and curating content for Mixed Roots Stories. I must admit it is a challenge to write about the Mixed experience, because it reveals my deepest insecurities around self-identity. So much so that I’ve been unable to write: suffering in silence.

No more. I need to talk and tell stories. Oy, I feel vulnerable.

It is a struggle, but sharing this story is a beginning.


Published by:   Mark
Posted in:   Folks, Submitted Stories
Tags: mixed, mixed experience, mixed roots stories, self identity

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Podcast

Sharing the personal stories behind the scholars, activists, artists and community leaders whose work addresses the mixed experience.

January 2017 Featured Artist – Nicole Kurtz

Nicole Kurtz is our January 2017 Featured Artist She is featured in the 2017 Mixed Roots Stories calendar. In this interview, she shared with us her story, about the piece, and her current projects. Visit Nicole’s website HERE to follow her work!
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BOOK REVIEW – Raising Mixed Race: Multiracial Asian Children in a Post Racial World

Sharon H. Chang’s inaugural book, Raising Mixed Race: Multiracial Asian Children in a Post Racial World, lays out a blue print that outlines the history of white supremacy and how it has corrupted the way people treat each other, specifically Mixed Race/ Multiracial and Multiracial Asian individuals. She develops an important foundation that provides a glimmer of hope for moving forward toward improving our future world, despite the powerful suppressive system before us. The title might make you think it is a parenting book, and it ... read more
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MXRS Episode 5 – Jenina Gallaway

Jenina Gallaway recently joined us for a MXRS Podcast – Telling the Story Behind the Stories. You can follow her on her Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/jeninagallawaysoprano and support her http://www.gofundme.com/z7tuys. Listen to her interview (also found on iTunes). Read her full bio below. Soprano, Jenina Gallaway, has performed internationally and throughout the United States in a wide range of genres. Operatic repertoire includes: Rosalinda in Die Fledermaus, Vitellia in La clemenza di Tito, the title role in Suor Angelica, Serena in Porgy and Bess, ... read more
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